A clear majority of Patch readers who responded to our informal survey about the etiquette of tipping think it’s out of control. Many said they tip 20 percent or higher for sit-down dining, but draw the line at coffee shops and fast-food restaurants. (Shutterstock/Lysenko Andrii),
The holidays can be a confusing time when it comes to tipping, especially as people are asked to tip more frequently and in places they never tipped before, a cultural shift sometimes referred to as “tipflation.”
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The nearly 2,500 readers who responded to a recent informal survey for Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column, spoke nearly unanimously: A seismic shift in how Americans make a living has pushed the tipping culture past its tipping point.
Illustrating that, Montgomeryville-Lansdale (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Steve quipped: “If you enjoyed my feedback, please feel free to tip — 20 percent, 17.5 percent, 15 percent or other.”
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In the reader responses below, we start with those who offered holiday tipping guidance:
Who Do You Tip And How Much?
Cheryl, Brick Patch and Wall Patch, both in New Jersey: “If I have to stand to place my order, no tip. I will tip my server about 20 percent unless bad service, then 10 percent, maybe. I tip my mailman at the holidays. He does pick up outgoing packages. Tipping for buying my groceries or the like, is a no way!”
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Ed, Huntington (New York) Patch: “Waitstaff at restaurants 20-25 percent, hotel maid service $5 per day, hotel valet $5 per bag, car wash $5, valet parking $5, hair cut $10, pedicure $10, delivery to house or business varies, garbage pick-up at holiday $50 each, mail delivery $25 each.”
DJ, Lower Providence (Pennsylvania) Patch: “Waitstaff in a sit-down restaurant, 20 percent, same with hairdresser. If it’s a holiday, maybe a little extra. Occasionally, I throw a little something in a cup at a drive-thru, depending on my mood!”
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Mama, Murrieta (California) Patch: “Drive through or take out: 0 percent. Full service sit-down (including buffets): 20 percent or more depending on the service. Eat in: about 10 percent, rounded to available cash on hand. Coffee or donut shop: a dollar or two. Barber/hair cutter: 20-25 percent. (I use cheap shops only.) Pretty much anybody else: 0 percent; regulars used to get some kind of holiday gift card; going to reconsider that this year.”
HBR, Port Washington (New York) Patch: “Hairdresser (and colorist), 20 percent; shampoo person, $5; curbside at airport, $5 per bag; hotel housekeeping, $5 per day; sitdown dining, 20 percent, Holiday tipping: housekeeper, nanny, one week salary; USPS, $20 (max by law); sanitation, $75.”
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PM, Across ‘America Patch: “The usual — restaurant staff, hotel cleaners, tour guides, bus drivers, the farm workers at the farm stands. I can’t really afford to go out to bars anymore but do tip if I go. I also give a holiday card and gift card to our mailman. If a grocery store clerk is working on a holiday, I will tip them, too. I also try to give the secretaries at work something at the holidays because they do not get paid very much. I don’t really go out to eat or for coffee anymore because I would rather use that money for travel and cannot afford to do both.”
- Read the original Block Talk column: Tipping Culture Is Over The Top, Readers Say In Survey
Carol, Long Beach (New York) Patch: “Manicurist 25 percent, food delivery 10 percent, newspaper delivery 10 per month plus $25 holiday, waitstaff at restaurant, garbage and mail delivery at holidays, aides and cleaning people at holidays.”
JJ, Glen Cove (New York) Patch: “Waitstaff, 20 percent; hair salons, 20 percent; food delivery, $5; masseuse, 20 percent. Over holidays, I tip mail carrier and sanitation, $50-$150.”
Chris, Wantagh-Seaford Patch, Massapequa Patch, Long Beach Patch and Port Washington Patch, all in New York: “Waitstaff, 15-20 percent; to-go servers, in-house pick up, $2; sanitation workers, $30 per person at holiday time; hairstylist, 20 percent, mail person, $20 holiday time.”
Rich, Lindenhurst Patch and Babylon Village Patch, both in New York: “Servers who are polite, friendly, attentive, get the orders right and go out of their way to get to know their ‘regulars,’ 15-20 percent and sometimes a little extra at the holidays.”
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Have You Ever Withheld A Tip?
Cliffy, Baltimore Patch and Columbia Patch, both in Maryland: “No. Most bad service I experienced was because of bad management and not really the server’s fault.”
Britta, Cumberland (Rhode Island) Patch and New Hampshire Patch: “Yes, if asked by someone in a nontraditional tipping situation if I’m tired of it.”
Danny the Grouch, Joliet (Illinois) Patch: “Yes because it wasn’t earned and is now expected almost everywhere you go now. Why should I tip someone for doing their job that the company hired and pays them for? The expectancy is insane now, everyone wants a tip now for simply showing up to work. Can you imagine a teacher or police officer asking you for a tip for doing their job?”
Mercedes, Lutz (Florida) Patch: “Yes, twice. Once service was substandard. The second time, the restaurant already added the gratuity and the manager and server mentioned that tipping was greatly appreciated on top of the fixed gratuity because that was to be shared with the non-serving staff. That was rude and not my problem how they choose to pay their employees.”
Pete, Scotts Valley Patch and Los Angeles Patch, both in California: “Yes, for poor service or food in a restaurant or a dirty hotel room, stiff towels, dusty rooms, unsanitized bathrooms, yucky remotes for the TV, sheets that could stand up by themselves. Rooms I must clean due to our health problems.”
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Jackie, Connecticut Patch sites: “I’m tired of businesses making me enter a tip response on an iPad when they simply performed their unskilled job and did not wait on me at all (e.g., fast food). The business owners need to pay their employees fair wages, rather than expect customers to do it. Tipping has gotten way out of control. And worse, so has the entitled expectation of the fast-food employees. When you click zero tip, they check the receipt and have the audacity to give you a disapproving look. Some of them even seem to make you wait longer for your order if you don’t tip. When that happens, I stop going there.”
Joanne, Oak Park-River Forest (Illinois) Patch: “I do not leave a tip where I have to walk up to the counter to give my order, and then go to the counter to pick up my order. What were the workers going to do with the food if I did not come to the counter and pick it up? Why should there be a tip? I do not leave a tip at a drive-up window for the same reason.”
Tina, Long Beach (New York) Patch: “Yes. If I go to buy coffee, the price I pay for the coffee includes the salary of the person making the coffee. Why should I pay more? Especially if I buy coffee at Starbucks, where the price is already high. Tipping expectations have gotten out of control.”
Jellybean, Concord (New Hampshire) Patch: “Nail tech when I was a teen. I feel awful about it; however, I didn’t know at that time that they should be tipped.”
Amy, West Deptford (New Jersey) Patch and Philadelphia Patch:
“Yes. We were seated and waited 40 minutes to get our drink order taken. The meal came out cold, and the server was rude. It was the worst experience. Generally don’t see service like that.”
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Susie Q, Vienna (Virginia) Patch: “No. I have tipped poorly for super-poor service. However, as a former waitress, I understand when poor service is from the server or when the kitchen is backed up.”
Pinzes, Huntington (New York) Patch: “Yes, went to the Sphere in Vegas to see Dead & Company. Purchased an $80 sweatshirt — girl bent down, grabbed it and ran my credit card, which had a tip screen on it. The entire transaction took 90 seconds, if that!”
Dorrie, Garden City (New York) Patch:“ I do not tip my hairdresser because she is the owner and she sets the price. If she wants more, she needs to charge more.”
Sunny, Fairfield Patch and Bridgeport Patch, both in Connecticut: “Yes, at a nail salon I had a gift card to. Charged me for service I did not want, then the owner yelled at me from across the way.”
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MB, Hopatcong-Sparta (New Jersey) Patch: Not at the traditional tipping spots. I do deny tips to fast food and other counter-based locations.”
T, Port Washington (New York) Patch: “At a foot spa. I always gave $10. One day the masseuse seemed distracted and didn’t do a great job, so I gave $5 instead, and the manager was screaming at me! Crazy!”
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Marie, Easton (Massachusetts) Patch: “No, because my mother taught me that they may think you forgot. So if I’ve received very poor or rude service, I’ll leave 50 cents or a dollar.”
Bethany, Bel Air (Maryland) Patch: “I have. If a server or others have not done their job and slacked through expecting a tip, I will go as low as 10-15 percent, and leave a note explaining why they were not compensated for below expectations of performance of their job.”
Jenn, Hauppauge Patch and Smithtown Patch, both in New York: “Absolutely — .for terrible individual service. If a person is rude or doesn’t care about what they are doing and it reflects on their service I will give a ridiculously low tip. If something happens that is beyond the individual’s control that affects the service (i.e., less staff) but the person helping us is still nice and helpful I will never withhold a tip. In fact, I usually tip more because they had to deal with more than usual circumstances.”
Kay, Farmingdale (New York) Patch: “I was at a food truck with two people working. Two egg sandwiches and two drinks came to $26. I felt that was enough because they had low overhead. I felt bad. I should’ve tipped because that’s what I’m used to doing.”
Porkchop, Across America Patch: “Once as a stand against tipping for ringing me up, but then felt guilty. Also, afraid if I don’t tip it may affect the quality of my food.”
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Coco, Frankfort (Illinois) Patch reader: “Yes. I resent the tip screen presented to me before anyone has even done anything for me. I even had a tree trimmer present me with a screen asking for a tip.”
Lisa, Wauwatosa Patch, Milwaukee Patch and Elm Grove Patch, all in Wisconsin: “Yes, when I order carry-out and pick it up. You just handed me a box or a bag. No tip. I’m at a local apple orchard. I get to the register with my apples. There was a tip jar on the counter and the screen also prompted for a tip. No. I am so sick of tipping.”
Barb, Orland Park Patch and Joliet Patch, both in Illinois: “Yes, if a worker is making minimum wage ($13 an hour in Illinois) they’re being paid a decent wage and shouldn’t expect a tip. I’m a nurse, which might not be considered a service industry, though in reality it is. You would get fired for taking a tip or gift.”
Bonnie, multiple Maryland Patch sites: “Regularly withhold tip, but not because of poor service. I always tip for the service I want next time, so I am always very generous with any service person, regardless of the quality of service I received that day. Plus, I like to develop a reputation as a big tipper at local places where I will be returning, for example, Double T Diner. Sit at the counter, always leave huge tip of 40+ percent equals immediate and attentive service. I don’t tip at the bakery, or any drive-thru or any place there wasn’t individual service provided.”
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